(Post 5)

As I type up this post, I recall moments in my life where others told me how I should feel, act, and try to be okay when I was not. Depression and anxiety symptoms are different because people have their own experiences. In my life, I had struggled to stay afloat when all I wanted to do was sink. I wanted to fall into the darkest pit that I could muster, then never be seen again. Yet, after all the struggles I have experienced in life, I have managed to keep fighting. Somehow, I had enough energy to face my illness and push forth in the daily hassles of life.   

When I was a teenager, when all my hormones and emotions were rampant, I was at my darkest time. I felt like an empty shell that if you touched me, I would crack. Crack into a million pieces, to be put back together again. There were even times I felt inhuman, like the world I was living in was not real; this could have been dissociative disorder. With dissociative disorders, people feel a lack of connection to their world, their thoughts feel odd and not connected, and it is hard for people to function in everyday life (Mayo Clinc, 2021).  

Thankfully, I do not fit the criteria to have this disorder that I know of, but it sure felt like it at the time. Even my hands did not seem real; I would look down at them, thinking, “what are these?” “Is this life real?” I have realized that the emotional trauma that I experienced as a child caused me to “dissociate” in a sense.   

Coming to terms with these illnesses can be challenging, and people may want to tell you what to do. Please remember that it is detrimental to your health and well-being to seek help and not let the negative comments get to you. The feelings you are experiencing, such as depression, anxiety, loneliness, lack of connection, loss of hope, etc., are accurate. You cannot one day be cured; there is no cure to this imbalance (depression). You have to live life on a day-to-day basis and leave the naysayers behind. You have got this! You are worthy, and people do care.   

Thank you for reading my post, and I hope that this brought some light to your life. I suffer from depression and anxiety daily, and this blog helps. Find something that makes you happy and keep that fight that I know you have! 

 

References: 

(2021). Dissociative Disorders. Mayo Clinic. Dissociative disorders – Symptoms and causes – Mayo Clinic 

Garder, E. (2018). Depression woman sit on the floor. Young woman confused. Anxiety disorder. Insane messy line stock illustration. Getty Images. Depression Woman Sit On The Floor Young Woman Confused Anxiety Disorder Insane Messy Line Stock Illustration – Download Image Now – iStock (istockphoto.com)